Tony Stark, Tabloids, and Times Square
by Ell Roche
Summary: Tony and Pepper were never a couple. No matter how many times it was printed in the stupid tabloids or plastered on the TV non-stop. They were friends. And Tony wished the world would finally take the hint and start noticing the huge diamond ring adorning Darcy Lewis's left ring finger.


**Title:** Tony Stark, Tabloids, and Times Square

**Pairing:** Tony Stark/Darcy Lewis

**Warnings:** AU, implied infidelity (falsified), and minor sensuality.

**Summary:** Tony and Pepper were never a couple. No matter how many times it was printed in the stupid tabloids or plastered on the TV non-stop. They were friends. And Tony wished the world would finally freaking take the hint and start noticing the huge diamond ring adorning Darcy Lewis's left ring finger.

* * *

The tabloid crumpled in Tony Stark's hands as he fisted the newspaper. The headline read: **POTTS' AFFAIR, STARK DEVASTATED!** in size sixty-four font. The grainy picture beneath the bold words showed Happy Hogan kissing the back of Pepper Potts' hand as he helped her out of one of the company cars. Happy's face was angled just enough to show the engagement ring he had given Pepper last week, when Tony finally urged him to grow some balls and propose. Pepper had, of course, just as Tony predicted, said "yes" to her long-time boyfriend.

Honestly, it wasn't the lie about him being heartbroken and hiding away in Avengers Tower, or, alternately, going out with the team to get wasted that annoyed him the most. It wasn't even that the paparazzi had accused Pepper of infidelity—though, admittedly, he needed to remember to drain the jerk's bank accounts for that—that had him so upset.

No, what truly pissed Tony off was the fact that he and Pepper had never even been a couple! She had worked for him so long now that he thought of her as a little sister—a hot one, sure—but he wasn't ever going to go there. Even the playboy Tony Stark had lines that just weren't meant to be crossed.

"What's wrong, Tony?" Bruce Banner asked, a cup of some nasty, exotic herbal tea in one hand. The cup was enormous, Hulk-sized, a teasing gift Tony had ordered R&D to make the first week Bruce was seduced into working for him.

"Apparently Pepper is cheating on me, and I'm so heartbroken I've been driven to drink." Tony tried to make light of it, but the words didn't come out right. Because the article implied that he was dating Pepper, and if he were dating Pepper, that meant he was cheating on his fiancée. And while Tony Stark was a hell of a lot of things, he was not and never had been and never would be unfaithful. After decades spent alone, without a single real relationship, he had managed to find a woman who loved him for himself, and not because he was a billionaire, or Tony Stark, or Iron Man, or any of that crap. She loved Tony—the boy with daddy issues galore who didn't think he deserved love . . . until she came along.

"Doesn't take much to drive you to drink," said Natasha, lips twisted with wry amusement.

"I resent that!" Tony said as he squashed the newspaper into a ball. "I've gotten a lot better about that. Haven't I, Cap? Tell her I've been better," he wheedled like a little kid.

Steve Rogers looked up from his plate of waffles and nodded solemnly. "You have gotten better, Tony. We're so proud of you."

Clint Barton ruffled Tony's hair as he walked past and claimed his seat at the table. "You're finally learning, Stark. We'll have you trained soon enough."

"What was that, Barton? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my massive intellect designing jesses for an annoying hawk," Tony said as he wiggled a pinky into his ear.

Bruce snorted. Steve fought a smile. Natasha threw her fruit knife at Tony.

"Hey, now! What have I said about impaling my fiancé? I'm pretty sure the word 'don't' was included more than once," Darcy Lewis said as she breezed into the room and pressed herself against Tony's back. She hugged him and kissed his neck as she took the balled up tabloid from his hand and threw it at Natasha; she didn't even come close to hitting her.

"He deserved it," Natasha retorted, one perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised.

"How does someone deserve impalement?" Bruce asked warily.

Tony twisted around in Darcy's arms and pulled her against his chest, before pressing a kiss to her sleep-tousled hair. "Morning, beautiful." She was wearing an Iron Man shirt, which barely met the waistband of a pair of Iron Man boxers. It was her not-so-subtle way of reminding him that she was his alone. He loved it.

Never let it be said that Tony Stark was willing to share the few things in life that mattered to him.

"Morning, Tony." She leaned up and kissed him gently, a show of affection that didn't ask for anything else. Darcy was the only person who had ever kissed him like that. It made him feel more important and cherished than all the fans and awards in the world ever could. "What're you all fighting about this morning?"

"We're not fighting, Miss Lewis," said Steve, cheeks red as he looked away from her and Tony.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Darcy?" she huffed as she nuzzled Tony's neck.

"You're Tony's dame, Miss Lewis. It just wouldn't be right," Steve said as he flipped his fork in his hand.

"Ha! I knew you were my favorite for a reason!" Tony declared with a triumphant grin. Instead of appearing offended, the others merely snorted. That might have had something to do with Tony making a similar statement to each of them throughout the week when they did something he enjoyed or appreciated.

"Seriously, though," Darcy said as she pressed her ear to the arc reactor, "what's wrong?"

"According to the tabloids, Tony is heartbroken because Pepper is cheating on him with his chauffeur," Natasha stated factually.

Darcy wrinkled her nose as Tony tensed. "Seriously? How stupid can they be? I've been out with Tony countless times, and I have a rock the size of Europe—"

"Asia," Tony interjected smugly.

"—on my left hand! It's so bright that it can be seen from space!" she declared, eyes wide. "Who in the world do they think I am, then?"

"Miss Darcy, if I may?" JARVIS interrupted.

"Yes, of course, JARVIS. Because you have to be the only one who could explain this complete nonsense to me," Darcy sputtered as she traced circles on Tony's back, much to his delight.

"Very well, Miss Darcy. According to popular opinion, including E! and Celebrity Gossip, it is commonly believed that you are Master Tony's secret daughter, who is secretly engaged to one of the Avengers—Master Rogers is winning the poll at 56%, Master Banner is in second with 32%, Master Barton is at 11%, and 1% of the population believes that you are part of Lord Thor's harem."

"Third place?" Barton groaned, as he leered at Darcy.

Steve and Bruce both blushed a vibrant shade of red and looked away from her and Tony.

Tony flinched, and hated that he did so. They thought he was her father? That was ridiculous! He wasn't that old! And he certainly hadn't been sexually active that young. Eww! He was only ten years older than Darcy, darn it! Ten years. Anyone with a brain could have looked up their birthdates and realized such a thing wasn't possible. He tried to focus on that, instead of on the fact that not even 1% of the population believed she was dating him. Was he such a horrible person that someone as sweet as her couldn't fit together with him in people's imaginations?

He knew that people were stupid, of course—no one was smarter than _him_—but he hadn't realized exactly how stupid they were until that moment.

Darcy grabbed Tony's hair and pulled him down for a wet-mouthed kiss, distracting him from the rapid-fire thoughts that stabbed at his conscience. Was he wrong for her? Did he have too much blood on his hands? Was he too old for her? Was he going to somehow break her in the end, like he had destroyed so much else in life? Would she want someone younger, kinder, less damaged . . . ? Would she tire of him?

After biting his bottom lip, Darcy pulled away from Tony and, through panting breaths, said, "JARVIS, deploy the Mark VII."

"At once, Miss Darcy," JARVIS replied.

All Tony got out was the word "what" before the suit entered the room, linked with Tony's bracelets, and sealed around him. Darcy leapt at him, and Tony caught her instinctively, grinning wickedly as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "What are you doing, Darcy?" he asked, voice modulated by the suit.

Darcy's smirk was delightfully possessive, and more than a bit naughty. "Waiting for my fiancé to fly me to a very public area, where we're sure to be photographed, shove me against a wall, and kiss me until I can't remember my name and my ovaries beg me to bear your children."

Tony stumbled forward a step in the suit as her words replayed in his head. He was peripherally aware of Bruce and Steve fleeing the kitchen, while Natasha and Clint watched them with rapt attention. "Yeah?" he croaked.

Darcy kissed the Iron Man faceplate, and he swore he could feel her lips and love all the way through it. "Yeah," she affirmed.

Tony held her tightly and walked out onto the balcony, utterly aware of how powerful the suit was, and the fragility of a human body. He loved this woman so fricking much! She was perfect for him. "Well," he said, grateful the suit didn't convey how broken his voice sounded—though he thought she might guess, anyway, "never let it be said that I disappointed my fiancée's ovaries. I don't think I could bear the shame."

As Darcy laughed, Tony leapt off the building, repulsors keeping their flight steady as he flew them to Times Square. He pressed her back against a lamppost, several feet off the ground, and relinquished control of the suit to JARVIS after retracting the faceplate and helmet. Darcy's beautiful brown hair was wild and tangled, and she was still wearing the little T-shirt and boxers, as if he had just flown her out of a passionate morning in their bed—even though they had never gone further than kissing (because Darcy wanted to wait until she was married, and knowing he would be the only one to ever have her made waiting more than okay with him. Besides, she did let him sleep in her bed as long as he kept his hands where they belonged; they had only wandered twice, honest!)

Just as her hands knotted in his hair, and his lips devoured hers hungrily, JARVIS hacked all of the electronic billboards in Times Square and showed footage of Iron Man frantically kissing Darcy; her enormous, ridiculously expensive engagement ring was magnified, temporarily blinding those who catcalled and began taking photographs.

Tony, shameless as ever, ignored the attention and kept stroking her back with the gauntlets, wishing he could feel the soft, thin T-shirt through them. Hmm, maybe he should add nerve-sensors, which could be activated upon will . . . or else he would feel pain every time someone hit or blasted the suit. Eh, he could ponder on that later.

"Tony?" Darcy gasped, chest heaving against the armor and pupils blown wide.

"What, Baby?" asked Tony. She was so fricking beautiful. And their children were going to be stunning. Everyone would be jealous of how gorgeous their offspring would be.

"Think they get it yet?" Darcy inquired with a dazed smile.

Tony smirked, wide and wicked. "No, not yet. The public is slow," Tony said.

"Oh, right," Darcy agreed, before yanking his head back down to hers, and proceeding to kiss him until his brain actually shut up—which almost never happened. If he hadn't given JARVIS control of the suit, they both would have surely fallen to their deaths by now.

Headlines all over the world that day read: **Stark Over Potts! Iron Man Engaged!** Beneath which was a picture of Tony passionately kissing Darcy in mid-air, in Times Square, with a close-up of her engagement ring.


End file.
